Which Super Smash Brothers Brawl Character would be the Best College Roommate?

Out of the myriad characters in Super Smash Bros Brawl, who would you want to spend your college days with? Let’s look closely at the fighters’ lives outside the ring, where instead of smashing and brawling, they’ll be challenged by the everyday things we normal people have to deal with. Each character will be ranked from 1 to 10 in three categories: diligence, cleanliness, and social acceptance. Then the sum of each category will determine their score and help determine their rank as a potential college roommate. (Some scores won’t reflect their potential as well as others, which is why I’ve written a little something for each entry.) There are just too many characters (35 in total) to write up a complete list, but here are the top five and the bottom six.

Bottom Six:

35) Ganondorf: Diligence:1 Cleanliness:1 Social:1 Score:3
Ganondorf is a rebel, but not the hunky kind that gets all the girls. He does what he wants, when he wants, which means screaming loudly and punching his flaming fist through a door when he forgets his keys. He never does his school work, has anger problems, and never showers. He would definitely be the worst roommate of the bunch.

34) Wario: Diligence:2 Cleanliness:1 Social:2 Score:5
Wario would feel socially awkward and self conscious in any college because he’s big, fat, and not especially attractive, on top of dealing with a chronic flatulence problem. However, these types of people will usually find comfort in their roommate and want to hang around them a lot, making Wario a real clingy pain in the ass for you.

33) Mr. Game & Watch: Diligence:4 Cleanliness:4 Social:1 Score:9
Mr. Game & Watch wouldn’t be that bad of a roommate…at first. He does most of his work and cleans up after himself enough not to be a nuisance. He gets along with you and other people at first, but eventually he starts to get to you. It’s the annoying noises he constantly makes, the loud clicking as he walks around getting ready for class while you’re still sleeping, and that horrible bell that he jingles thirty times a day—not to mention the inedible flaming sausages or pancakes or whatever they are. You can’t even tell what it is, but he sure loves to throw it all over your side of the room.

32) Meta Knight: Diligence:3 Cleanliness:4 Social:3 Score:10
Meta Knight quietly studies at home some nights, and doesn’t usually leave a mess anywhere. He isn’t terribly fun to be around, but isn’t unbearable, either. But every night, he cries himself to sleep and you never ask why…but you start to realize he has some deep-seated personal issues when you see him flying across the sky and swiping his sword at nothing in furious fits of rage. You want nothing to do with him, or his MySpace page.

31) Jigglypuff: Diligence:5 Cleanliness:5 Social:2 Score:12
Who would want a puff that jiggles in their room all the time, especially one that recites her name with every action she does? Not to mention, if you happen to touch her when she’s taking a power nap, you’ll be blown back painfully against the wall.

30) Falco: Diligence:5 Cleanliness:3 Social:4 Score:12
Falco is one of those roommates you either hate, or don’t mind, but never really like. Falco goes overboard with alcohol at any social event and constantly bullies people around. He thinks highly of himself, and rarely has any non-superficial moments with anyone.

Top Five:

5) Bowser: Diligence:9 Cleanliness:7 Social:9 Score:25
You’re horrified at first to find out you’re going to live with Bowser, but what you’d come to realize is that he’s an awesome dude. You find he has a great sense of a humor and loves everything about life in general. He just has a strong hatred towards Mario and chooses to never talk about it. The first two times you bring up Mario he becomes reticent for three days straight, so you just give up and learn it’s one of those topics; let’s talk about our armies of minions instead.

4) Princess Peach: Diligence:10 Cleanliness:10 Social:8 Score:28
Normally, a Princess would be a horrible roommate because of their self-important attitude. But Peach has been toughened up and has more of an appreciation for hard work and responsibility than other princesses. It might get annoying, however, hearing, “Oh no!” in her high-pitched voice every time she gets a B+.

3) Pikachu: Diligence:10 Cleanliness:10 Social:10 Score:30
Watching Pikachu do anything, like putting on a tiny pair of glasses and reading, would be entertaining, and he can get you into any social scene you want. It might be hard to really be a close friend to Pikachu, though, since he has so much stuff going on constantly, considering his popularity. You get plenty of cast-off affection, though.

2) Link: Diligence:10 Cleanliness:10 Social:10 Score:30
With all the adventures Link’s been through, he must be quite a fellow to hang out with. You know he’s involved with all sorts of clubs and honor classes, and he constantly has interesting questions to ask you, stimulating thought-provoking conversations. He’s pretty responsible, despite his age–just don’t leave your pottery projects lying around when he’s home alone.

1) Ness: Diligence:10 Cleanliness:10 Social:9 Score:29
Having a super smart roommate will always be useful, unless you just can’t stand them. But Ness is more than just bearable; he’s the chosen hero of legend. Ness’s perks include friendship with a prince, unlimited steak dinners, and a personal photographer always on hand to capture your finest moments together. And with his power of Psychokinesis and his strong interest in rocking, this little guy would be lots of fun all the time. If only he didn’t dress so horribly. Well, you never know, his look might catch on.