Top Five Movie Video Games That Should Have Been

The only thing worse than spending $10 to see a terrible movie adaptation of a great game is to pay $50 to own the terrible game adaptation of a great movie. We all know that movie games are never a good way to spend your birthday money (Did you know that Porky’s had a game?). If you ask someone what their favorite game based on a film was, most likely, they will be at a loss for words. This may be an issue of poor source material. Unfortunately, lots of great moments on the silver screen are being neglected by game developers. Here’s my list of game tie-ins that need to happen ASAP.

Sex and the Liberty City: You play the role of Carrie Bradshaw as you travel the city, in GTA IV fashion, going on dates with hundreds of men and then writing about them online. You better keep an eye out for Mr. Big: he has a habit of popping up at awkward moments. If you are running low on energy, just grab a Cosmopolitan from one of the many “hot spots“ nearby. Buy this for your girlfriend so you can justify the weeks you spent playing GTA IV.

The Odd Couple: You get to play as Felix Unger as you manically dash around behind Oscar in an attempt to clean the apartment, but you’d better hurry—your estranged wife is coming over soon! It’s a great game for when you’re getting to know that new roommate, or perhaps to help you deal with the stress of living with a slob.

The Seventh Seal: The marketing genius here is that you already have a built-in audience of college film students looking to get class credit for playing this black and white MMORPG. Why else would anyone under twenty see this Ingmar Bergman classic? At the very least, it would bring a new audience to the film. This will be the game that will make you want to go to film history class.

The Red Balloon: It’s time to rid the city of those #*%*& balloons once and for all, amidst the beautiful fully rendered backdrop of France in this first-person shooter. In this adventure, the blood red balloon is back to take vengeance on the children who tried to destroy it. Good thing you are there with your B.F.G. to make sure that doesn’t happen. This will help you appreciate the speechless 1956 film in a whole new way. Who needs dialogue when you have a sniper rifle?

Super Mario Brothers: The Movie: The Game: It’s really the last place for the plumbers to go. After being cannibalized into everything else, why not revisit this 1993 epic in game form. It could spawn a whole new series of gamesbased on movies based on games.