5 Actors as Video Game Characters We’d Pay to See (and not regret immediately)

The video game movie has never been an incredible success. Our favorite characters and storylines seem to lose something in translation to the big screen. This unfortunate time line started with the live-action Super Mario Bros. in 1993, and reached new lows with House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark and BloodRayne. But that doesn’t mean they don’t have potential.

And it definitely doesn’t stop every gamer from making their picks for the actors and actresses to best portray their favorite characters. Here are my picks for the next generation of video game movies. They might even be a success, if we can keep Uwe Boll away from them. Keep your fingers crossed, and check out my picks for video game movies (and their stars):

Vin Diesel looks good painted red.

Character: Kratos
Actor: Vin Diesel

To play Kratos, the sympathetic anti-hero from the God of War franchise, you need a leading man with a body that can stand up to chain blades and that can adequately personify brutality. I’m voting for Vin Diesel.

Let’s face it—the role of Kratos isn’t going to require very complex acting. All in all, Vin Diesel will have to practice three faces: angry, vengeful, and ready to kill. Likely, those will all look the same anyway.

Besides, Vin Diesel has already done this movie—take Chronicles of Riddick and Pitch Black, swap out the science fiction elements for Greek mythology, paint him red and hand him the loincloth. Instant God of War. Pay Michael Bay enough to direct it, and there you go: blood, explosions, and piles of money from this inevitable summer blockbuster.

Jenna Fischer sporting Princess Daisy's crown.

Character: Princess Daisy
Actor: Jenna Fischer

Picking the right actress to fill in the pink ball gown of Princess Peach might be an impossible task. A million different fanboys would take to the message boards requesting their favorite blonde-and-blue-eyed hottie, but the winner would have to be blonde enough to lack the common sense that keeps her getting kidnapped (Jessica Simpson, maybe?).

But what about that brunette cutie with that girl-next-door charm and Peach’s b.f.f., Princess Daisy? This much-overshadowed ruler of Sarasaland hasn’t quite had her day in the (Super Mario) Sunshine yet, but with the adorable Jenna Fischer fleshing her out, Daisy could be ready for the spotlight. Maybe a romantic comedy co-starring Luigi, or a sporty flick that has this princess trading her tiara for the racket as she follows her tennis career?

Hugh Laurie for Gordon Freeman?

Character: Gordon Freeman
Actor: Hugh Laurie

Gordon Freeman is the accidental action hero, and Hugh Laurie would be a perfect fit for Half-Life’s MIT-educated physicist. Swap Dr. House’s cane for the all-purpose crowbar, and apply liberally to head crabs. Freeman is the silent savior in this all first-person series, so Laurie could take the character with his natural British accent, or his adopted American speak. Either way, he’s a great fit for those nerdy glasses and HEV suit.

Character: Frank West
Actor: David Boreanaz

Photojournalist, out to find a story in Willamette, Colorado, gets stuck in a mall, that is somehow filled with zombies and psychopaths. Frank West has three days to get the story, save those still alive, kill everything else in sight, and most importantly, pick up the damned phone every time Otis wants to chat.
He’s a newsman, not a fighter; but to survive the undead horde in this unassuming mall, Frank is limited to only everything he can pick up.

Two, please, and with a large popcorn.

Dead Rising's Frank West and actor David Boreanaz.

I’m going with David Boreanaz to cover this story. Boreanaz might be best known for the Fox show Bones, and his portrayal of a brooding vampire in Joss Whedon’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel. His acting experience puts him perfectly in line with the supernatural, and once he’s close enough, stabbing it in the heart. Besides, he just looks like he knows his way around a chainsaw.

Of course, the game is already inspired by the films of George Romero, but if they decide to go movie-turned game-turned movie again, I’d pay to see David Boreanaz smash zombie heads with a bowling ball. Extra Prestige Points to the director if we get a scene with Frank running down hundreds of reanimated corpses using a Cadillac in the garage.

In post-saved form.

Character: the Little Sisters
Actor: Abigail Breslin

No question, if (or when) Hollywood decides to do an adaptation of BioShock, it would be one eerie movie. The most controversial point in the film version would be its treatment of the Little Sisters: save them and be a hero, or harvest them for their ADAM and your own benefit?

Abigail Breslin, the sweet face from Little Miss Sunshine and Kit Kittridge: An American Girl, would be just the right little girl to make that moral choice a bit harder.