The Great Singapore Swindle: PSPs for $1000, Air for $800
The world is chock-full of suckers, and for every one of these suckers, there is a crook waiting to pounce. I remember roaming the streets of Chinatown in New York, and hearing “GUCCIDOLCEGABBANAFENDI” shouted at me from all directions. Rolex watches for $60; Coach bags for $30. “What kind of gullible person would actually fall for this?” I thought to myself. Over a year later, I have finally found my answer to this question.
Let’s play a little game of “The Price is Right.” How much does a PSP sell for in Singapore’s Lucky Plaza? $300? No, silly bear. $500? Getting warmer… $750? Warmer yet! $1000? Ding ding ding! You WIN! Yes, you heard me right: someone paid $1000 for a PSP. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.
But wait, it gets better: the woman knew that other places were selling PSPs for much less. Upon interrogation, the salesman comfortingly assured her that those systems were mere imitations, and what he had was the real thing. (Shame on those scam artists trying to sell PSPs for $300!) His initial asking price was $3550 for all of the “costly licenses” associated with the system and a “special upgrade,” but she eventually talked him down to the low, low price of $2600. After bringing the PSP home, she was greeted with a unanimous “What the hell were you thinking?!?” from her loving family. When she stormed back to demand a refund, the gentleman softened her into paying a bargain deal of $1000 for the PSP instead.
Ladies and gentlemen, I am by no means a wealthy girl, and upon hearing inspirational stories like that, the gears in my devious little mind begin to turn and concoct money-making schemes of my very own. For one week only, I will be selling the following items:
Game-Teleporting Fishbowl: Once placed on your head, this fishbowl has the ability to teleport you to your favorite video game world. Ever wanted to fend for your life alongside your favorite game characters in a hellish alternate dimension? Well, now you can! The first 10 customers will receive this item for FREE. The rest will pay $29.99, which is actually $159.60 below the actual retail price! SWEEEEET.
Power Blender: Have you reached a point where a whole pot of coffee just isn’t enough to keep you awake after those long hours of gaming? Then try Power Blender! This device has the ability to transform any food, beverage, or common household item into an explosion of energy! Simply pour the white mixing powder into any concoction you make, and enjoy! Play WoW for 5 days straight without breaks! $500 for blender; first bag of “mixing powder” free. Need refills? Price negotiable.
Magical Cat of Pwnage: This feline is biologically enhanced to give you extra-super-mega gaming skills. You will be able to play Soul Calibur IV blindfolded and defeat Contra without the “99 lives” cheat code. Limited edition litter of 87. Get ‘em while you can! Asking price: eleventy-billion dollars, OBO.
If you’re interested in either of these items, come talk to me. In the meantime, let’s ponder this PSP scam a little further. What’s worse: trying to sell the PSP for $3500, or buying one for $1000 when you know better? Both people are to blame, and I daresay the victim isn’t entirely a victim. The woman needs to be slapped on the wrist for being the worst bargain shopper EVER and flagrantly throwing around money like that, but the salesman? He should be fired for being talked down to $1000! Stick to your guns, man! Somebody clearly needs a “refresher course” on haggling.
