The Cake is a Lie, but Portal 2 is Not

It’s not every day that you wake up in an austere training facility under the rule of a malevolent, malfunctioning AI named GLaDOS, who robotically deadpans, “I’m not kidding now. Turn back or I will kill you. I’m going to kill you, and all the cake is gone.”  Portal was one of the best surprises of 2007 and a refreshing alternative to a glut of mediocre FPSs that included Blacksite: Area 51, Jericho, and Timeshift.

It should come as no surprise that Portal 2 is in the works, though details at this point are scant: no word yet if the fan favorite, Weighted Companion Cube, returns.

According to a recent article, a casting call on Breakdown Express is looking for that special someone to give voice to Cave Johnson, deceased head of Aperture Science, the company behind the whimsically sadistic Portal experiments.  More tellingly, the listing mentions that Cave will be a sidekick-cum-antagonist, so players may end up in the role of a disgruntled Aperture Science employee this time around.

However, if Portal 2 plays out anything like the original, getting a good health care package will be the least of your corporate concerns.  Expect hazardous traps, dark humor, talking gun turrets, and brain-melting puzzles—everything that made Portal an instant classic.  The addition of a George W. Bush facsimile—replete with southern accent and cocky swagger—in Cave Johnson is just icing on the cake (pun intended).

Sadly, Portal cosplayers will have to wait until next year for new material, as Valve confirmed there will be no new Portal this year.  Until then, take comfort in the fact that you’re still alive.