The Badasses of Gaming

Audiences love macho men. Video games cater to this need by providing us with strong heroes, and we love to step into their shoes.

It makes gamers feel like badasses.

Whether or not all gamers have dreams of power trips, there’s no doubt an interesting protagonist is usually a plus. That said, here are some of the most memorable video game characters, presented in all their manly glory.

Rayman

He won the heart of girls everywhere with his abnormally sexy neck. At that, he could arrest their attention with his Tom Cruise hair cut and caress them from afar with his flying fists.

How about a romantic skate through the clouds, the wind fresh on your face? How about admiring his stylings during when he becomes bored and executes one of his dances? It would be a sure hit at any party.

No doubt, Rayman’s a gamer’s fav, and his rounded features stay with us long after the world has moved onto newer pastures.

Mario

A beefy moustache, abs of steel, and a killer uniform – what’s not to like about one of gaming’s biggest figures?

This hearty Italian could probably pack it in well at any Thanksgiving dinner. Beside all his plumbing duties, he even manages to save Princess Peach from Bowser’s deadly clutches. A man of infinite talent, he satisfies every boy’s dreams of becoming a hero the public knows and loves.

Mario is, after all, an everyman. That he can accomplish so much speaks to the hopes inside all of us.

Goofy

This dude made his big break in Kingdom Hearts, rocketing him into the gaming stratosphere

With Sora and Donald Duck in tow, gamers can be sure Goofy wore the pants throughout the journey. He protected others with his shield to the very end, always enthusiastic about the thrill of battle — Come on fellas, let’s go! — and never failed to throw himself into the thickest part of the fray.

Goofy passed out often, but he sure went down fighting.

Donkey Kong

Lovable primate on the surface, deadly machine on the inside — that’s Donkey Kong in a nutshell.

Not only does Kong have a great fashion sense (his tie and hair style take the cake), but he also has muscles to back him up. He could carry a lady on each arm to his pad in the trees, where he and company could feast on bananas to the dulcet tones of Donkey Kong rap.

It seems Kong has come a long way since his days kidnapping Princess Peach. The best men are made, not born, and you must give the monkey some credit for his incredible turn-around.

The Great Mighty Poo

Not exactly a protagonist, Poo still had the voice of an angel and could woo anyone with his ballads.

Poo most certainly recognizes the best foods, given his unique experience with the later stages of digestion. Along with knowing the best restaurants in town, he probably has hookups to the opera house. If you want a cultured man, Poo’s the best way to go.

And his cologne! Cool thing is, he’s let every man since the dawn of time sample his secret scent.

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Clint Eastwood photo courtesy of www.time.com.
Rayman pic courtesy of Ubisoft.
Mario pic courtesy of www.weblo.com.
Goofy pic courtesy of disney-clipart.com.
Donkey Kong pic courtesy of www.dan-dare.org.
The Great Mighty Poo pic courtesy of Photobucket.