Soul Calibur Halloween DLC: Look Before You Buy

The most recent Downloadable Content for Soul Calibur IV has been out for a bit. Xbox LIVE advertises it as extra Halloween clothing for your custom character sets. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m hesitant to buy anything whose only purpose is virtual eye candy if I can’t see it first. GotGame consumer reports has got your back, with a behind-the-purchase look at what is available.
Let the fashion show begin.

Why are these considered scary again?

First up we have the Pumpkin Head. While applicable for the upcoming holiday, I just don’t see this head piece having any staying power unless you have some sort of creepy pumpkin fetish. And has anyone ever tried to actually put a pumpkin on their head? Those things are rank. I’d just feel horrible for whichever character was subjected to it.

I don't remember Harry Potter sporting one of these

Next is the Wizard’s Mantle. There’s no question that capes are cool, but Soul Calibur IV already features a wide selection to choose from. If you simply must have that one particular bright red cape with the starched collar, then perhaps you would benefit from this. If you are feeling this way, it is more likely that you have serious mental issues and should see a psychologist straight away. Also, we’ve all seen The Incredibles , so we all already know capes are impractical.

Form. Not Function

Frilled Shirt: Namco obviously understands that Halloween is a multi-faceted holiday. With the Frilled Shirt, they were looking to focus on the hoochie facet. The shirt is reminiscent of those slutty Halloween costumes with the pointless frills and uncalled-for belly-showcasing. If that is the message you’re trying to send, then you might as well go with Soul Calibur IV’s other clothing options that could more efficiently boost your skanktastic ranking.

Who loves short shorts?

Short Slops: If you’re trying to have your custom character go in a completely different direction and assert the fact that she’s the biggest loser ever, then the Short Slops might be of use. I’m not sure what pantaloons are, but they sound stupid and these look stupid, so I’m willing to make the connection.

All in all, a disappointing showing from Namco. After their first DLC pack was similarly lackluster, I was expecting more for their second showing. They obviously let me down. I pause to wonder what they have in store for us in the future? Turkey suits? A yarmulke? Santa hats? I pray this isn’t the case. Not only would it exacerbate hostility between religions, but they would be fucking boring. C’mon Namco, I’m a shallow gamer and I’m more than willing to throw my money at you the second you drop something that is even moderately worthwhile.