So She’s Not a Gamer: How to Keep Things Smooth with your Partner

I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but my significant other is adamantly not a gamer. So, my penchant for shooting aliens, or throwing magic spells at dragons is lost on her altogether. She can’t fathom my lust for new gaming toys or why I droll over screenshots of upcoming releases. Sometimes it is necessary to be better than an average partner, sometimes you need to strap your boots up tight, lock-and-load and get ready to level up!

Step One: Realize up front is that you shouldn’t try to force your partner into becoming a gamer. People aren’t going to suddenly change after years of their own individual interests and hobbies and you shouldn’t expect your significant other to either. Changing her (or him) to fit your interests is greedy and evil. However, you can take baby steps to show that games aren’t necessarily a bad thing, and that it is okay to take part in them. For example, my girlfriend loves Tetris and puzzle games. So on occasion we have marathon matches of Hexic and I even showed her the game Braid, just so that we could game together. This works both ways, too. Don’t feel the need to suddenly start taking Agrarian Business courses just because your partner is really in to their gardening.

Pro Tip: Avoid having too much sex with your in-game girlfriends in GTA IV. Sure, you have to keep the relationship alive in order to get the benefits, but don’t make it seem like you are enjoying it. And watch those vibrating controllers!

Step Two: Time flies when you are having fun, but don’t forget to keep things balanced in your relationship. Don’t wait to be asked to help with the cleaning or other chores, turn off your game for a couple of hours and get some work done! Being proactive can help eliminate reasons for your better half to be angry at you in the future (not that that should be the only reason you do things anyway, right? ^_^). And they’ll be less likely to blame your laziness on video games if stuff is actually getting done around the house.

Step Three: Don’t replace “Together Time” with “Game Time.” Now, I consider the weekends to be fair game for doing whatever, but you shouldn’t plop down in front of a TV after work and ignore your partner after you’ve been away at your jobs or classes all day. Take the time to talk and do things together! Snuggling is more fun than being called gay on Xbox Live by a 15-year-old anyway.

Pro Tip: When in a rough patch, do not go and open a new game file in Mass Effect, create a character that looks oddly like your partner, and make them the most evil Renegade possible. They probably won’t see the humor in that.

And so, your partner isn’t a gamer. No one is perfect. But keep these steps in mind and it might make things a little smoother in your relationship.