Small Towns are the Devil

Like so many recent graduates attempting to weather our current economic crisis, I recently had to abandon my college-town paradise, complete with coin operated washing machines and hundred year old drywall, to resume residence in the frugal den of shame that is my parent’s home. I mean absolutely no disrespect to my folks, and the rent-free living conditions aren’t too bad with one key exception. They live in a town of approximately nine thousand people, the vast majority of whom are tractor-owning posthumous Reagan supporters. So you can imagine that a hardcore gamer in his early twenties with a degree is somewhat out of place here.

Most of the time I stay firmly in my game/work chair with my laptop or Xbox 360 blazing hot trying to open channels to other worlds where people are open minded and don’t think True Grit is an epic literary masterpiece. Sadly, this fantasy was destroyed this past week as I had to venture out into the backwater wasteland I call home in a quest of the utmost importance.

You see, I had been courting the Skate 2 demo with such a passionate fervor that I decided it was time to gird my frugal loins and purchase the full version of the game. The last time I had to purchase a game from this area was Left 4 Dead and at that time I had to run an errand in the next town over so I decided to just go straight to the GameStop there rather than even attempt to find a copy back home. For some reason, I thought I wouldn’t have to go that far this time…

My quest began at a local video store. It made sense, they carried both movies and games for rent and purchase, but no, they insist on only carrying a case of accessories and a scant handful of recent titles. If I wanted a copy of Madden ‘09 or the PS3 version of Skate 2, I would have been in the clear. I do have to give credit though, because a woman, who I believe to be one of the managers, was very keen on seeing me as a potential customer and gave me the sales pitch for putting money down on Resident Evil 5 or FEAR 2.

Of all the shops I visited that day this place showed the most promise, merely a limited selection that had already been raped by the time I saw it.

Next up, I went down the street to a local Pamida (a wannabe Wal-Mart) because I recalled seeing a full electronic entertainment section there years before. Well, it turns out that the section was indeed there, and it had hardly been updated since my last visit. They actually had Playstation launch titles in factory wrapping and were asking an unreasonable amount for them. Go ahead and look back at the word “Playstation” in that last sentence. No, there is no number following it. No, that’s not a typo. Pamida was actually asking $20 for a factory sealed copy of Syphon Filter, which was a great game in the last millennium but is now worth roughly two dollars on ebay.

At this point I had literally exhausted all the possibilities in my small town for video game outlets. So I drove to the next town over, which is roughly twice the size and contains a shopping mall, a movie theater and minorities. The first place I tried there was a smaller game store located in the mall that bought back used items and had a wealth of N64 and SNES carts that could easily contain a hard to find title from a customer’s childhood.

This particular store is an anomaly, because every time I walk in there their game inventory seems to have dwindled and their extra inventory seems to be increasing. It started small with music and movies, which was perfectly reasonable but this last time I swear to every IP owned by Blizzard, they had a rack with assorted polo shirts for sale. They weren’t game related in any way, and they all seemed to be the same size, which leads me to believe that the store manager slapped price tags on his hand-me-downs in hopes of making a quick buck.

I briefly considered purchasing a slightly overpriced copy of Lost Odyssey just to give the poor guy some support, but then I remembered my fervent lust for Skate 2 and my desire was sparked anew.

Our hero rests after his perilous journey

After a few uneventful stops at some poorly stocked game sections at electronic retailers throughout town, I found myself navigating another mile of labyrinthine streets to that same GameStop I had visited months previously.

I tried my hardest to avoid being a corporate tool, given my appreciation for sticking it to the proverbial man, but these damnable hick towns give me no choice. At least Skate 2 helps relieve the frustration.

-That Guy

PS: Seriously, this game helps relieve stress.