Silly Miyamoto, Gibs Are For Kids!

Bearing the moniker “family-friendly” isn’t all bad. It’s a Godsend if you’re looking to appeal to a broad audience and to never piss anybody off… ever.

But if you harbor even the slightest desire to be taken seriously, then that cutesy, non-violent shtick has got to go. If there was ever a console that — if miraculously granted sentience — would understands the rigors of being pigeon-holed, it’s the Nintendo Wii.

During the first 26 months of the Wii’s lifespan, only 20 of its games were rated ‘M for Mature,’ according to a Star Tribune article. In recent months, Nintendo’s tried to harden its image with a deluge of darker, bloodier games, only to draw the ire of family advocacy groups around the country.

The next psyche-breaking incarnation of Silent Hill is coming to the Wii, as is the thrash metal mayhem of Tim Schaefer’s Brutal Legend. And Nintendo’s latest venture into zombie territory, House of the Dead: Overkill, recently earned the esoteric honor of the most f-bombs ever heard in a video game.

(189, in case you’re curious.)

So, has the Wii’s ultraviolent gambit been worth alienating a portion of its core audience? For the most part, the numbers aren’t on Nintendo’s side.

“Dead Rising: Chop Til You Drop” got its ass handed to it on a mall cop’s Segway by its 360 counterpart. “Dead Rising” on the XBox 360 sold 210,028 copies its first week on American shelves and 92,711 the next, compared to the Wii version’s paltry first and second week showings of 15,614 and 13,273 respectively.

And last year’s Call of Duty: World at War port got blown out of the water stateside by its console competitors, something to the tune of 0.75 million (Wii) set against 1.72 million (PS3) and a commanding 3.73 million (XBox 360).

Here’s a rough breakdown of what Wii games are rated:

Source: GameCyte

Still, the Wii’s not conceding adult-centric ground without a fight. It’s aforementioned foul-mouthed undead epic sold 45,000 copies in February.

And Nintendo’s black, white and red hunched-over-corpse fest Mad World hacked and slashed its way to the top, captivating 47,516 U.S. gamers its first week, and earning its place as the VG Chartz most anticipated game of March — the first time a Wii game has ever reached #1 on that scale.

But the Wii is still lagging behind in terms of appealing to an older crowd. Of February’s 10 best selling Wii games, not a one was rated higher than ‘T for Teen.’ For Microsoft and Sony, on the other hand, 3 out of each company’s 5 best selling games were M-rated.

The Wii still does best for itself when it caters to a younger audience — that shouldn’t be news to anyone. But even a tepid response to M-rated titles from Nintendo could mean good things to Wii owners old enough to drink and vote.

How about that grim ‘n’ gritty Zelda game we were promised, already?