Robot Punch! News Edition

We live in times of rampant thievery and injustice. Seldom do we so clearly see it as we have in the past month, as skilled warriors are robbed of their victories, the wanting pleas of nations are denied, and even the security of valuable porn is violated.

Take tight hold of your junk, cuz in this week’s Robot Punch!, we take a look at some crooked moves by players and publishers alike that make the world that much more annoying.

Final Fantasy VII Now Available On PSN…But Only In Japan.

Oh, come ON!
And look at that Top 10 list!

I guess someone heard me. Slash fiction’s gravitational center, Final Fantasy VII has just been released onto the PlayStation Network in Japan. This is no doubt to further promote the anticipated Blu Ray release of their CG-eye candy feature film, Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.

It’s worth noting that this is the “International Version” of FFVII. FFVII: International Version is actually the Japanese port of the American release of the game (a much-improved version over the original Japanese release), with a few extra features.

Here’s the kicker: No plans yet to release the game in North America or Europe. So if anyone out there digs Final Fantasy VII (and I get the feeling there might be a few), start contacting Sony Computer Entertainment and Square-Enix to convince them to release the game in other territories. Otherwise it will join Xenogears, Front Mission, and Bushido Blade on the list of awesome Square games that we may never see on our side of the pond.

Woman Arrested For Stealing 800 Hentai Manga Drawings

This hentai is HOT!
But not the good kind.

Earlier this month, 26 year old Yumi Hara was arrested by Tokyo authorities. Her crime: Grand theft erotica.

Hara is charged with stealing over 800 pieces of original artwork of Masamichi Yokoyama’s daily Yaruki Manman hentai manga series from the Yokoyama Productions offices. She‘d been soliciting some of the artwork to used book stores in Jinbocho, Tokyo. It wasn’t until Yokoyama’s eldest son was notified about his father’s work being sold that the police were able to track the nefarious Hara down.

The value of the artwork is estimated to be over $40,000. Very valuable porn, indeed! The only excuse she could give for her actions was that she wanted the money for booze.

Capcom Plans To Punish “Rage Quitters” In Street Fighter IV

Someone who both writes and games at a 5th grade level.

Back in the days of arcades, if two players are cracking fists together in a game of Street Fighter and one guy walks away from the machine in frustration, screw him. The victorious player can keep on playing uninterrupted or a third person could step up to take the deserter’s credit. Possibly even turn the tide, Daigo-style.

Now that the new generation of world warriors do battle in an online arena, technology offers gamers the opportunity to fight without honor. In this case, I’m referring to the “rage quitter”—that jerk that yanks out the ethernet cord from their home console at the moment just before their defeat. This technique is used as a technical loophole that prevents the match’s outcome from being applied to a player’s leaderboard rank, denying the victor their earned propers. In the arcade scene, this would be the equivalent of not only walking away, but pulling out the cabinet’s power plug on the way out.

Capcom’s Seth Killian has addressed the issue, promising that they’re working on a way to punish these asshat cheaters, while remaining merciful to those with legit connection issues. In the meantime, a “Bad Loser Hall of Shame” has been established; a blog posting various screenshots of victories stolen and punk bitches crying foul.