Remember When Video Games…

There was a time in the land of video games where games were much simpler. It was all about platforming, collecting a few coins and slaying a monster or two. There was never the letter “M” on the front of boxes or the worry that a game might be banned from an entire country. Times sure have changed, but it never hurts to pause from the madness of today and look back fondly on some of the things we loved that are no more.

Remember when going to buy a console didn’t require charts and graphs or a Venn diagram? It is disgusting how many different SKUs are available out there. What happened to saying “Hey, how about we make one console that fills everyone’s needs,” instead of eight different versions with various hard drives, backward compatibility issues, and pack in games. It takes a relative of Einstein to purchase a console without their brain hemorrhaging.

Remember when licensed games weren’t immediately tossed into a dumpster? One needs only to look at the heyday of the NES and all of Capcom’s gems to see proof. Rescue Rangers, Duck Tales, The Little Mermaid and Tale Spin rocked. Not to mention some of those old X-Men games that had me begging my mom for adamantium implants. Now-a-days, games based on popular movies or cartoons are sickening. Have you seen how clunky and horrible those Harry Potter games are? Even the recent Spiderman games have been horrendous, so horrendous that I’ve burned my Spiderman PJs.

Remember when the camera was never an issue? Games used to be simple and 2D; that one view was fine for generations. There was never a problem of another object being in the way, thereby ruining the ability to land successfully on a ledge. Now you can’t even read a review for a game without the reviewer complaining about a wonky, uncooperative camera. Thanks a lot, Mario 64.

Remember when online play didn’t exist? Going out in the world and convincing other humans to come to your house to play some video games was a tough endeavor, but ultimately worthwhile. Now everyone is online already just waiting for you to join them, like a real live family. Where did the challenge go?

Remember when there were only 150 Pokémon? Now there are about five hundred ridiculous-looking creatures infesting these games. You can’t walk into a Toys ‘R’ Us without running into a Pokémonn color-by-number book thicker than the Bible. It’s unbelievable how many Pokémon there are, especially since many are a weird evolution or color swap of another. At least the current generation has a lot of catching to do…I almost pity them.

Remember when there were no M-rated games? It sounds crazy, but back in the day there weren’t even ratings at all. There wasn’t a need for that because games sold well without severed limbs, bouncing breast, drugs, guns, knives, blood, guts, etc. We got by on comic mischief; now games are being banned from entire countries and stores. The media is taking notice because of a little letter in the corner of the box. Crazy how things have changed.