The Multitasking Gamer: Best Games to Keep Near the Toilet

Everyone poops. We learned that when we were four. There are novels and movies depicting this perfectly natural act, but in this ADD-filled world it’s kind of a waste of time to sit on the toilet and do nothing productive. The advent of portable games has filled this gap, but you don’t want to spend too much time on the toilet. So you have to find the right measure of a game that can be played in short spurts, or during marathon sessions after all those tacos.

The DS is filled to the brim with quick pick-up-and-play games, so I’ll go through the highlights. I have found through my research that the battles in Final Fantasy Tactics fit perfectly for a longer session. The battles average about 10 minutes in length and once the dust settles, you ought to be on your merry way.

If Tactics is not your taste, why not pop in some Space Invaders Extreme? The game is unique and full of bite-sized levels that will draw you in with the cool techno lights and sounds. Be cautious though, you don’t want to get hypnotized by the atmosphere too much; things may begin to go numb. And by then it’ll be too late…

Animal Crossing Wild Worlds is a great game to hit up while you’re sitting down. Pull some weeds, rearrange some furniture, and run some errands for T. Nook, then go out and do that in your own life!

When it comes to “toilet-able” gaming, let us not forget the PSP. Unfortunately, the PSP’s strength becomes part of its weakness in this arena. It offers games that could very well have appeared on a console and thus require large amounts of time put in at once.  But the PSP does squeeze off a few good ones for the potty player.

For instance, Crisis Core has some action-oriented battles that are easy to get through and offers some quick side quests that will keep you busy while playing that waiting game. Lumines also works well, unless you are a champ capable of dissolving those blocks for hours at a time.

Street Fighter Alpha 3 MAX is an appropriate game, since bouts last a couple of minutes at a time. Hopefully you wont end up shaking like Fei Long in his victory/constipation shake. Remember not to push yourself too hard, or you’ll risk some combustion.

Finally, I must suggest Patapon for the toilet den if only for the use of cute characters; the chirping sounds they make will really take your mind off of the task at hand. And isn’t relaxation key to a nice, easy waste disposal session?

So next time you have to “talk to a man about a horse,” don’t forget to bring in your DS/PSP. What’s the point of sitting down and relaxing in a place no sane person would even bother you and then not take advantage of it? Just don’t get too addicted and start slipping yourself laxatives just for an excuse to game.