On Tour with Guitar Hero: On Tour; Diary of a Video Game Groupie

I was ecstatic when I heard that Guitar Hero: On Tour, the new version of the popular Guitar Hero series for the Nintendo DS, was going to stop in Minneapolis for one afternoon only at my local Toys ‘R’ Us stores across the country. So I packed up the car and embarked on a non-stop road trip, spanning well over thirty blocks, to the nearest store for an exclusive preview. What followed was a hazy hour of music and promotional tattoos.

I showed up to take my place within the mayhem at the ungodly hour of noon. I was hoping to do some crowd surfing, but instead I was only greeted by rocker/ promotional assistant, Stephanie. Clad in a Guitar Hero shirt and head band, she handed over the portable DS “axe” and I slipped it on. It promptly fell apart when I tried to squeeze my giant hand into the tiny strap, a harsh reminder that I was a 29-year-old man trying out a game in a Toys ‘R’ Us.


Stephanie quickly helped me recalibrate and I was ready to rock out to Ok Go. The pick-shaped stylus gave me the tactile effect of actually strumming a guitar, as opposed to the strange flip lever on the standard guitar controller. Those always reminded me more of locking a car door than being a guitar hero.

I immediately imagined myself bowing to thunderous applause after playing a set in an elevator. Finally, the phenomenon is no longer constrained to your mother’s basement or a bar. Now you can kick it to “All the Small Things” from Blink 182 whenever you feel like it. And who hasn’t had enough of that song, am I right? It’s perfect for use while slowing down the line at the grocery store, or at every red light. Wish I’d had this when I was getting my root canal.

The DS wasn’t touring alone. The opening act was Guitar Hero: Aerosmith. It was extremely exciting to see CG Steven Tyler’s lips fill up the screen as Joseph “Run” Simons fights for attention in “Walk This Way.”

Anyway, getting back to the DS version of the game: now you have to actually shout “Rock Out” into the microphone to ignite your star power. This could be problematic when played in coffee shops and libraries. Some may think it is just a gimmick to squeeze more money out of the Guitar series. Those people may be right. Either way it’s still the best way to waste time rocking out in public places, even if you do look stupid.