New Guitar Hero: Star Power coming soon?

It wasn’t long ago that film director Brett Ratner was screwing up the X-Men movie series, now he aims to take down another modern classic. Ratner stated in a recent interview, that he would like to take on Guitar Hero as his next film project. At first glance, this does sound like a terrible idea, but on second thought—it’s still a terrible idea.

Ratner is, after all, working on a film based on the God of War video game and currently acts as a creative consultant for Activision. He is also responsible for incorporating Guitar Hero into Miley Cyrus and Maria Carey videos. Brett says the film would go something like this:

“It could be about a kid from a small town who dreams of being a rock star and he wins the ‘Guitar Hero’ competition. One of these dreams-[come-true] kind of concepts.”

This is completely plausible for a movie about a color-coded music game. What else could a gamer want than a movie that would justify their right to live at home and act out their dreams vicariously through a plastic guitar? It could be this generation’s version of The Wizard.

I’ll go a step further, Brett, and offer my own rough draft of the first scene:

INT: MOTHER’S BASEMENT - DAY

NATE “FREE-BIRD” JONES sits in an old couch with a guitar controller in his hands, a stagnant look in his eyes and a circle of Red Bull® cans surrounding him. The room is dark and silent, save for one small TV across from him blaring the riffs of BARACUDA.

Suddenly, a door CREEKS open and a light is cast upon Nate. The silhouette of a middle-aged woman is projected onto the floor of the basement. It is Nate’s mother MRS. JONES.

MRS. JONES
Nate! Turn that down! Or at least play a decent song.

Nate rolls his eyes and continues to play.

NATE
Not now, Mom. I’m about to fill up my star meter!

She LAUGHS.

MRS. JONES
There are no stars down here! You aren’t ever going to be a star. Not if you don’t get out of this basement in small town America.

Nate jumps to his feet and cries out to his mother.

NATE
You’ll see, Mom! Oh, you can laugh at me now. One day I’ll be able to quit working at White Castle and reach my true ‘star power’!

MRS. JONES
Here’s a better idea. Find a real job.

She TOSSES a newspaper that HITS Nate in the face and lands on the floor. He looks down to see a full color newspaper ad touting the “$100,000 Guitar Hero Championship”.

Nate smiles, then thrusts his guitar into the air, evoking STAR POWER on the TV.

The words glow and light up the screen forming the title “GUITAR HERO: STAR POWER!”

FADE TO BLACK:

Next down the pipe for Ratner, the inspiring tale of Duck Hunt: The Miniseries.