It May Be Skimpy, but if it Works…(The Chainmail Bikini Saga)

It’s been a standard in video game and comic book fashion for decades. I mean, what teenage boy hasn’t drooled over a scantily clad, well-drawn and well-proportioned woman warrior at some point? And in recent years, as video games have become more realistic, who hasn’t seen an empowered, axe-wielding woman wearing nothing but her own brand of armor: the chainmail bikini?

Chainmail bikinis have been a cornerstone of sci-fi and gaming fashion almost since the conception of the two. But could it be that these skimpy pieces of metal are more than just eye candy for men? Is it possible that chainmail bikinis are actually devious distractions that women use against them? Think about it. Most women I know don’t get turned on by men looking like this:

I mean, a good set of abs is always nice, and a bit of facial hair could actually be attractive. But there’s just something wrong about a man in a thong.

On the flip side, I don’t know a single man who wouldn’t stop whatever he’s doing to look over a woman dressed in a fitted chainmail bikini. This, for example:

Now, admit it guys, you stared a little. And that’s the point. Though the original chainmail bikini was probably the brainchild (or fantasy) of a male artist, I think this tiny piece of armor has evolved from a purely decorative garment into a useful and effective tool. That pause that men inherently have when they see a woman in a skimpy outfit can be turned against them. It’s using what you have to gain an advantage. That moment would be all a talented female warrior needs in order to gain the upper hand.

So are chainmail bikinis more than just eye candy for men? I think so. No one (not even me) can deny that women can be manipulative and take advantage of whatever situation they find themselves in (doesn’t everyone, though?). And why would finding ourselves in next-to-nothing be any different?

Still don’t believe me? Just look to history. Men love the chainmail bikini; it’s a fact. And if women aren’t using it to their advantage, they should be. It could be an extremely successful weapon.

And as a last bit of proof: Age of Conan used women in bikinis to advertise the game at this year’s E3 convention. From what I hear, it worked. But see for yourself.