I Liked it Better When it Was Called The Legend of Zelda

Fable II has been applauded for its openness, character customization abilities, complex emotion system and freedom. It truly is a good game, but unfortunately for Peter Molyneux and Lionhead Studios, I’ve seen it all before. Fable II contained a lot of original elements… back when it was called The Legend of Zelda. Prepare yourself, hero. Batten down the hatches, Mr. Molyneux. Your game is about to get Rocced (because Rocco-roll and Roccoed sounded clunky, of course) in a comparison to the Nintendo Entertainment System’s The Legend of Zelda.

Fable II is said to have an open-ended, dynamic world where you can go anywhere the eye can see. Your hero grows in power and grows from a youth to an adult while pursuing their own path, but is the pursuit of an original path, well, original? Feh. The Legend of Zelda let the enterprising player find all sorts of ways to create their own path and customize their character growth back in the day where you didn’t need some pestering quest-giver to tell you what to do. Want to finish Level 5 before you finish Level 3? Go halfway through the dungeon, grab the raft, and go rick roll the dragon. Want a quest? Force yourself to find the White Sword before you step into the first dungeon. Buy some bombs, find some hidden heart containers, and roll around the continent. Hey, your character just grew in power too! That’s open-endedness. That’s character growth. It’s been around!

C'mon, they both have swords! How unoriginal do you get?

Regarding Fable II’s one-button combat system, Peter Molyneux has stated that it “makes you feel cool” and that it’s “so simple anyone can play it”. This may be true, but The Legend of Zelda had that going for it back in 1986. Nothing was cooler as I ran poor Link ran around and around blocks in a little dungeon, dodging those crazy blue Darknuts in hopes that I could thrust my sword (using one button, I might add) into the fiend’s back. Besides, Fable II used three buttons! One for magic, one for items, one for swinging your weapon? The Legend of Zelda made do with two, with only one button for swinging your sword.

His concern for your well-being is truly touching, but if you master your sword on him, his anger is just as fierce

Fable II plucks at the player’s emotions in a way no game has before… or does it? Sure, in Fable II, you can smile, belch, fart, and occasionally do the hanky-panky, but let’s not claim this as total and irreverent originality. The Legend of Zelda had its own set of emotions. Rescue Princess Zelda and the little hearts floating around you tell you all you need to know. Run out of life and you can feel the pain, the agony, and ultimately the remorse as Link spins around in a tiny circle, turns all sorts of colors, and fades away in a blip. Attack an old man and his torches will assault you with fireballs. And the kindness of others is alive and well for doing good deeds in The Legend of Zelda. The sweetest Little Old Lady in The Legend of Zelda will give out the Water of Life, when presented with (we can speculate) a touching letter from her sweetheart the Old Man. Her craggy pixelated smile is heartwarming and brings to mind the reverence one may have for a cheerful aunt or grandmother. A rescued fairy will likewise reward your kindness. That’s morality. As for the gastronomical elements, I’ll concede that point to Fable II on the basis of Zelda, but I’m pretty sure my hero on the NES version of Gauntlet let one rip. Unoriginal.

Link and the sexually charged Like-Like. (Your experience may differ.)

“But Rocco, Fable II has the afore-mentioned hanky-panky! The Legend of Zelda sure doesn’t have that!” A worthy bone of contention, but let me give you… the Like-Like. This creature will brutally grab poor Link, encircle him in his squishy prison, suck, slurp, chomp, whatever, and even steal his protection, the Magic Shield! If the thing likes to eat Magic Shields it’s quite possible it dissolves poor Link down to his skivvies too, but they can’t well show that in a mid-80s Nintendo game! You simply don’t undergo a more carnal experience than that. Fable II may have more accurate sound effects, models, and children (not to mention the clap!), but losing your Magic Shield? That’s consequence.

Fable II offered the ability to choose the player’s gender, but in spite of excessive documentation in The Legend of Zelda’s manual, can we really confirm that the Link sprite is male? Does he ever remove the cap? The answer lies solely in what you choose to name your save game as to whether or not Link is male or not. Later games may remove this ambiguity, but imagination is key. Being able to name your save game file and in essence your character is pretty ingenious; the ultimate form of customization. It’s been done before.

The epic battle continues, with the Fable II guy's height advantage being nullified by the fact that he's getting stabbed in the knee.

I’ve also heard about Fable II’s amazing Demon Doors, doors that will only allow you to pass if you’re wearing a particular outfit or do something special. Yep, seen this before too. What could possibly be more special than finding a hidden block to push, or slaying all the enemies, or finding a key to open a door? Doors were as varied and unique in The Legend of Zelda; maybe in one dungeon you had to push the block in the northeast corner. Maybe in another you killed Keese. Or Goriyas. Or Darknuts. The possibilities were just as endless! Way to go, Fable II. Assaulting a door with methane or wearing foofy pants is meaningless; the door still opens. Zelda did it twenty years earlier.

Which brings us to the most damning element. The plot. In Fable II, one point is that the hero has to find a way to rescue and bring together the Heroes of Strength, Will, and Skill. Aside from a delightful bit of rhyming on the last two, doesn’t that sound a damn bit like poor old Link, who brings together the Triforce of Power, Wisdom, and Courage? Nay-sayers may point out that Courage doesn’t become a factor until the excellent Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, but I digress. The truth is still out there, and the truth is that with regards to Fable II, The Legend of Zelda has done it all before. Heck, let’s look at the names of these fantasy worlds. Hyrule? Albion? Six letters! Real freakin’ original, Molyneux! Couldn’t you have tacked on a courtesy letter?

Fable II is a good game. A fun game. A worthy game. A dynamic game. But an original game? Meh. Seen it before. Fable II, consider yourself Rocced.