I just read a blip about the WiiWare title Major League Eating: The Game in the most recent issue of EGM, and not an hour later, watched an episode of CSI where a 419 (dead body for the non-burgeoning forensic scientists of you) took part in a hotdog eating contest and then gorged himself to death. Though not even close to the grossest thing on CSI, (despite Hodges fishing through buckets of the guy’s stomach contents), the episode’s timing raised bile to the back of my throat.

Maybe it’s fun once a year to watch Kobayashi turn a little greener as he stuffs fifty-three soggy buns into his petite face. Or challenge your friends to a milk-off or whatever is the in thing to competitively choke on these days. But can these pseudo-pastimes pass mustard at the buffet of video games?

Though the existence of the competitive eating game itself is not a joke, it may be most successful as its own mockutainment–as Earthbound was to RPGs, just not quite as classy (and Earthbound had a giant pile of puke as a recurring villain). Major League Eating already seems to chuckle at itself freely: its website is filled with videos of girls dreaming of a glorious future as “Bunnettes” (the number-flippers who keep count of the number of dogs going in or out of a contestant’s mouth) and cleverly serious bios of its stars, such as the prophesied “One Eater” in reference to Sonya Thomas. One of their interviews with the ‘enigma’ Eater X begins:

MLE: “You are a man of mystery in the competitive eating community. Some say the mask conceals a hidden torment, an inner turmoil. Who are you?”
Eater X: “I’m Tim Janus, I’m a day trader. I live at 19^th Street in New York City.”
MLE: “But still. So mysterious.”

The game takes this satirical attitude to the next level, exaggeratedly lampooning competitive eating with features such as gas attacks and a fullness bar that, when topped off, will result in your character tossing his or her cookies, or hot dogs, or pizza—whatever delicacy the round featured. It is set up as a two player head-to-head competition, with all of your ‘favorite’ MLE stars available as an avatar representation, offering the chance to pit Kobayashi against Joey Chestnut in your own living room-kitchen. There are “burp offs” and the potential for flaming belches thanks to jalapeño power-ups, ketchup attacks and a lot of little tidbits that we never really needed to see in a game ever, but that are kind of funny nonetheless. “Burps” and “belches” are two different types of attacks, according to the MLE: TG official site. We have much to learn.

There will be online functionality and the controls are listed as Wiimote-exclusive, to “stimulate the fast and furious action of a competitive eating competition,” says developer Mastiff. This may be a serious or entirely playful comment—I’d take most details about this game with a grain of salt, and a side of pie.

If the game debuts with the launch of WiiWare, we’ll get a taste on May 12^th. The mental image of this game downloaded to a system with Wii Fit, (scheduled for release just two weeks later), loaded up is quite amusing. I guess Nintendo really does want to appeal to a wide variety of pant sizes—I mean, players.