Andrea Krantz - December 15th, 2008

Which Game Characters Would Make Great Pets?

I’m not really a big “pet person.” Pretty much anything with a furry pelt induces a sneeze-fest in me. But video game creatures are imaginary, and thus won’t make my allergies flare up, which is precisely why I’d make an exception to my ‘no pets’ rule if I were able to have one. Yes, I understand that there is a huge, gaping hole in my logic here, but bear with me. If video games were real, aside from the world encountering multiple catastrophes of epic proportions, I’d have a menagerie of bizarre critters inhabiting my house.

Allow me to share with you my list!

AiAi (Super Monkeyball): This is by far my most shallow selection. I also know it’s a little “Michael Jackson” of me, but I want this damn monkey for the plain and simple fact that he’s cute. I have a stuffed animal of him, and every time I see it, I instantly become happier; thus, I can only imagine how happy a real one would make me. I’d force him to do a little dance for me every time I felt glum, or else he’d get the hose.

Green Tentacle (Maniac Mansion): Some of you may already know that Maniac Mansion is my dream home, but you probably don’t know that Green Tentacle is my dream pet. The fact that he’s an aspiring rock musician makes him instantly cool in my book, and I’d easily be able to scare off any intruders with him—even though that tactic didn’t work so well in the game from which he came. I’d have to make sure not to keep wax fruit readily available.

Pinky (Pac-Man): Okay, I know ghosts are supposed to be scary, but the fact that she’s pink instantly negates any fear I generally have for supernatural entities. Think of how fun it would be to have a pet ghost! Fetch would be more entertaining than ever before! Mad at somebody? Have Pinky possess them for a little while. Having a slumber party? Have her play pranks on the Ouija board! The possibilities for shenanigans are endless with a pet ghost, really.

Bullet Bill (Super Mario Bros. series): Who wouldn’t want to have a giant, pissed-off, anthropomorphic bullet hovering around your house? The awesomeness factor of this pet is off the charts. I’d probably have to keep the house well-lit to avoid bumping into him, however, lest I end up with my pet lodged in my chest and an ER visit in the foreseeable future. Definitely not a pet you’d want to make mad (er, madder than he already perpetually is, of course).

Rush (Mega Man series): I generally hate dogs, but in a utilitarian sense, Rush would be the ultimate pet. He’s multipurpose, and pretty snazzy-looking, to boot. Who needs a car when you can ride a robotic dog to the supermarket? Talk about a pimped-out ride! He’d be a barking Vespa! I’d also save tons on airfare when he’s in “jet mode.” Travelocity, you ain’t got nothin’ on this dog!