Games Mother Will Love (or Hate)

Mother’s Day is a holiday to celebrate the ones that brought us into this world. They may have done your laundry at one point, cooked you meals, tucked you in at night, and…
given you shit about your gaming habits.

From the cussing, extreme violence, and over-the-top sexiness of female characters (almost as sexy as your mom, heh), there is plenty for yo’ mama to hate about games.

 Mom jokes aside, let us outline some games that mothers everywhere will hate, some they will love, and a little extra on the side.

 

Hate

 

Grand Theft Auto
Pretty much a no brainer guaranteed to bring forth the hatred of Mother, especially if she watches a lot of Fox news. Any game where citizens of the city call the anti-hero a “shit monkey” amid massive amounts of killing and adult-themes is recommended to play out of the range of mother’s watchful eye.

God of War
An amazing series that will probably have your dear old mum writhing in anguish. Why? Because Kratos slays the mother of his child (the child, too) due to some trickery by the Greek god Ares.

Throw in a threesome and extreme brutality in every game; arguing to your mother that this is a great way to study for your Greek mythology test will probably end in failure.

World of Warcraft
Unless Mom isn’t exactly proud of your existence, mother’s everywhere with most likely hate this game. More times than not, players will probably be in Azeroth and missing family dinners everywhere.

“Sorry Mom! No time for baking cookies, Nax tonight. But bring some to me when their done, thanks. Oh, and a glass of milk.”

Conker’s Bad Fur Day
Sure, based on its title alone, you may be able to slip this one under mother’s nose. Except the cute little squirrel on the cover has a pint in hand and there is a giant warning label to boot, warding off minors everywhere.

And with a boss like the Great Might Poo, mom’s everywhere will be ashamed that you are their offspring.

The House of Dead: Overkill
Simply put, this game holds the Guinness World record for most profane game. In about 3-hours of classic B-movie-style dialogue, the F-bomb is included a whopping 189 times.

Unless mom swears like a sailor, she probably will be putting soap in this game’s mouth. However, since games have no mouths, I hope you like the taste of lye.

Honorable Mentions:

Any fighting game ever - Play nice kiddies

Halo - Just listening to some of the ignorance on XBox Live is enough to make anyone go deaf. Thank the Lord for mute.

Madworld - This title is a murderous gameshow. Add some really loud andannoying commentary to the mix, and mom will love you for playing this game.

 

Love

 

Any Lego Game ever
Legos are great toys for kids and adults alike. However, they are really too goddamn expensive if you buy them on a regular basis.

Instead, moms can just buy their kid one of the Star Wars, Batman, or Indiana Jones renditions and víola, only $50 for endless Lego fun.

The Sims
Let’s be honest: Mom will probably push you off your desk chair in order to play The Sims. You could probably find her putting in a money cheat and designing some pretty fabulous homes.

Hey, maybe you can work together! Wouldn’t that be family fun?

Tetris
Mom may or may not be a fan of this original puzzle game, but you can bet she is probably a fan of one of its babies. Mom probably plays Bejeweled on her phone all the time and you don’t even know.

If you do know, make sure you tell her to thank Tetris while she’s at it.

Pokemón
A mother hath no better babysitter than Pokemón. Want a screaming kid to shut the hell up so Mommy can have a little quite time? How about endless hours of quite time?

Pokemón is the ultimate answer for every mom.

LittleBigPlanet
The cuteness of the sack boys are enough to win over anyone’s heart. Throw in the creativity and planning that it takes to build a decent level that others will play, and Mom will be praising your achievements.

Hopefully with some of the fresh baked goods mentioned earlier.

Honorable Mentions:

Brain Age - Learning is fun!

Cooking Mama - If only because mama is in the name.

Super Mario Bros. - Any game that focuses on plumbing skills is well worth it if Mommy doesn’t want to unclog your mess in the toilet.

 

Bonus: Both

 

Help Wanted - This game is built upon getting a job and doing it well. While mom would love this because it promotes hard work, it’s a VIRTUAL JOB.

Mom will be pissed that you wasted all your time on these fake jobs when you should be looking for a real one and moving your ass out of the basement.

Lazy bum!

Happy Mother’s Day to all!