Fat Princess: Does What Skinny Princesses Won’t

What’s the best kind of princess? Well, there are two schools of thought. “Fat Princess,” the new Darkstar Industries video game coming out for PS3, glorifies the princess, as usual, and makes her the object of rescue. However, she does not do anything but eat and get progressively larger, making it more difficult for the opposing team to…rescue/haul her to victory. Capture the flag with Fatty as flag, if you will.

If you’re like me, you find this hilarious and do, in fact, prefer a fattier princess. However, the morally superior antagonists of the Internet are actually upset. Turns out you can’t feature a fat girl in a game, just as much as you can’t feature one with melons for breasts and a 12-inch waist. Not to fear, Darkstar Industries. I love your game, and hopefully so does the GotGame reader.

The website Feminist Gamer goes so far as to call the game “fat-bashing.” Alas, I see no fat-bashing here! Just cake-feeding and some gentle fat-lifting. What’s all the hoopla? We’d better look a little deeper.

Apparently, it’s not just funny, it’s a pretty good game. It looks something like Animal Crossing, cartoony trees, colorful flowers, short characters, bright skies and all. Then there’s the blood smeared all over the cartoony grass, which is probably more horrible than realistic blood. It’s a deathmatch in la-la land.

The heart of the game, and what seems to be the most controversial, is the gameplay mode called “Capture the Princess.” Each team’s base begins the game with the opponent’s princess imprisoned in their fort. One of the objectives is to kill your opponents so as to easily capture your own princess. The other, much more fun objective, is to go out and find cake to feed to the opponent’s princess. With each subsequent piece of cake, the princess engorges and because more difficult to carry. Once you’ve fed her enough cake to feed an army, you watch the hilarity of the other team straining to maneuver her back to home base.

Did I mention there’re even classes you access by finding the various hats associated with them? Swordsman, archer, wizard, priest, builder. You can switch classes mid-game and try them all out for kicks. You can watch people’s blood splatter or stick to more mundane tasks, like fortifying the base.
Fat Princess promises oodles of fun, and violence masked in a cutesy, kid-friendly wonderland. What more could you ask for? The colors…!

Just be careful inviting your fat friends over to play. If the online bloggers are any indication, someone could get their feelings hurt.

Bloody in-game footage below.