Errors and Bloopers: The Worst Sports Games

With the 2008 Olympic Games coming to a close, the entire world has had the opportunity to witness some of the most spectacular athletes competing on the world’s biggest stage. These athletes are world class, the best of the best and some (Michael Phelps) will never be forgotten in Olympic history. Logically, it was only a matter of time before these incredible athletes were compared to video games; the games that stand apart from the others, titles like Madden, Pro Evolution Soccer and NHL. I’m using these comparisons to polarize the difference between the best of the best, and the worst of the worst. Read ahead to see just how bad some sports titles truly are.

Let me just start by saying that there are tons of pitiful sports titles across a variety of platforms. They exhibit their terribleness through semi-sport mediums like paintball, mountain biking and dodgeball. It’s not always the sport that dictates their dreadful destiny; it’s often the less than impressive depth that all these games most certainly offer.

Even a mainstream sport like baseball can be dishonored by titles like Backyard Baseball 09. This game uses child commentary and a control scheme that makes E.T the Extra-Terrestrial look like Metal Gear Solid 4. And who the hell thought that child commentary was a good idea? It sounds like these kids are more concerned with their post-game snow cone than baseball. Come on Atari, let’s up the ante a bit.

Terrible sports games aren’t just for the mainstream releases, take Go! Sports Ski for example. This game has awful controls, a half-assed online setup and is starving for features. Furthermore, who even wants a game where skiing is the only option? If you’re going to throw your money away on something, at least buy a Winter Olympics package. That way, you can get terrible skiing, curling, ice skating, and luging all in one place. Why even develop a new skiing game? I was completely satisfied with my snowy downhill experience using Windows 95’s SkiFree: at least they incorporated a monster, can’t they just leave it at that?

As long as we’re talking about terrible “sports” games, we have to mention Major League Eating. This title is brought forth thanks to the incredible designers at Sensory Sweep. They somehow managed to make the “professional” food eating experience even more of a joke. Major League Eating includes features like stunning your opponent with a fart, or temporarily disabling them from eating by challenging them to a belch-off. I haven’t even mentioned the one mode of gameplay and motion sensitive controls that don’t work and you already know this game is at the bottom of the sports-that-shouldn’t-be-sports barrel. This may be the only sports game where choking will make you happier.

There are plenty of other terrible sports titles out there, but the truth is no one should spend more than ten minutes thinking or writing about these games. Feel free to leave a comment for which games you think are the worst.