Coping with Gamer Anger: “The More You Know”

Oh, hello there. I’m Joshua Erwin. You may remember me from such educational gamer articles as “Carpal Tunnel, The Silent Killer,” and “The Cake is a Lie: Institutional Testing and You.” Today I’m here to talk to you about anger.

Anger, Mr. Erwin?

That’s right, Billy. Anger. Gamer anger.

It’s the kind of anger that makes you wonder just how difficult it would be to break a controller in half with your bare hands or the type of unadulterated fury that has you envisioning your console careening out of a tenth story window. We’ve all been there. You’re on your fifteenth attempt to kill [boss name here] and you get him down to [really low health percentage] only to lose your cool, or hit the wrong button, or have your idiot brother trip over the cord (you know who you are), and you’re right back where no gamer wants to be:

Crap.

Here at GotGame, we want to help you learn how to cope with your murderous rage before it manifests itself in the form of, say, a molotov cocktail shoved in your disk drive. The next time you find yourself at the “Game Over” screen, white-knuckling your controller in preparation for the reckoning, try one of these helpful suggestions!

• Pwn something. Like, UBER-pwn something. Revisit that old game that you know like the back of your hand and show those little digital punks who the sheriff is in this town. Nothing builds the confidence back more quickly than some old-fashioned carefree death dealing.



• Engage in a non-digital hobby. I’m told that there are ways to kill time that don’t involve my Xbox or PC. Musical instruments are a popular one… those are the things you’re pretending to play when you boot up Rock Band. Apparently, there are non-plastic, non-child-sized variants of these. Sounds like a scam to me.



• Go outside. Do you see that giant flaming ball outside your window? No, that’s not an impending nuclear holocaust. That’s the sun! Getting some fresh air can be just the trick to calm your fragging-frazzled nerves. You can even bring some friends with you, maybe toss a ball around. Just make sure you keep it real by saying things like “Throw it to Triangle!” “X FOR SPIN MOVE!,” etc.

I hope these suggestions have been helpful to you. Remember, nobody wins when you direct your wrath at your controller, or your console, or your television, or your friend’s face. Learn to redirect. After all, if you destroy it, then you’re just stuck being a failure.

Tune in next time when we take a hard look at the effects of MMO addiction in a special report: “Red Bull and Adult Diapers – The Life of an MMO Addict.”