Classes I Would Like to See in an MMO

New classes in MMORPGs are always exciting, both for the players and the creators. Here are three classes that I personally would love to play in my next MMO excursion; these might exist in some fashion already, but I haven’t happened across them yet. And no, Death Knight is not included, due to obviousness.

-Chemist: Their mana is used to create potions that can be drunk, given to friends, tossed at foes, or even combined with other potions to create super potions. Some potions might include the common strength or haste buff, while others can go as far as being a potion of doom, which can only be created through the souls of dead enemies and when used, will hex a living foe that will cause severe damage over time and can only be removed when that person dies, unless another Chemist is able to reverse the effect with their own potion of light… or something like that. You can use your imagination.

-Musician: Instead of a weapon, they would hold a guitar, drums, flute, or any other instrument you can think of, although I don’t think a grand piano would work out. Their music would either help allies, harm foes, or do a combination of both. The players can decide what type of music and instrument they want to use for specific situations. The class could actually take an immense amount of skill in order to keep track of a beat and intertwine notes correctly to create complex melodies that could deafen enemies and silence their casting or increase the damage of allies. I’ve seen a few attempts at this type of class, but rarely are they done successfully.

-Psychic: Their main weapon is their mind, enabling them to wear heavy armor and possibly even hold a large two-handed shield, since they don’t need a melee weapon. More powerful Psychics are able to control enemies’ actions for a short period of time, and cause sharp pains to others’ brains, making their actions take 50% more time to complete. I had some trouble thinking about what weak Psychics would do to level up. I know they would be extremely useful in a party but they’d be awfully weak solo, so perhaps they should have an ability that allows them to create some sort of pet. This notion entertains me a lot more than doing damage to enemies through their mind because that would end up making them too much like a Mage. Psychics should be more about crowd control than damage.

The Tweaked Classes:

-The Douche. Instead of making a cheap class that never dies, stuns people for ten seconds with the press of a button, and calling it rogue, or making a class that is impossible to hit, jumps around in your face doing minimal damage but constantly knocking you down and ruining everything you are trying to do, and calling it ninja, why not just combine them and name the class Douche? Then, instead of trying to cover up the cheapness of a move by naming it something like Vanish, Kick, Jump Attack, or Kidney Shot, with a class like Douche, the names themselves can emphasize how annoying the class is with skills like: Douche Dust (the Douche throws sand in your face and runs away), Nut Kick, Nipple Twist, and Wet Willy. When the class is actually named Douche, the people who play it will be more likely to come to terms with the idea that the class is designed to be a pain in the ass, which is the opposite of most people who play this type of class and believe it isn’t cheap, which of course is never true.

-Hentai Monster: Okay, it’s more of a race, but a lot of games already have some big, disgusting version of man and beast. The reason they are so entertaining is because of their brute size and crudeness. With moves like Face Claw (which pretty much describes itself) or Devour (which involves an animation of your man-beast character hovering over a measly human and biting their scalp off), these characters can be quite a riot. So why not go over the top and just replace them with a character type called Hentai Monster? They would be absolutely hilarious with moves like Tentacle Attack, where four tentacles come out and start gouging the enemy’s eyes and wrapping around his or her neck. This lovable character could grunt and ooze as it kills, or as it sits down to eat and regain its health. Unfortunately though, the humor would only work if a Hentai Monster was immersed in a world of non-beastlike characters, like a world with the common Warriors, Mages, Warlocks, Priests, and other classes of that nature. That way, the Hentai Monster would really stand out, given its time to shine.