Characters We’d Like to See in the Next Smash Bros.

Though the bouncing pseudo-violence of the Super Smash Brothers series may be enough innovation to keep most game-o-holics satisfied, many from the community plug in to each incarnation to see the new retrospective of playable characters. Each game is like a quick look back in video game history, allowing them to finally play their favorite characters against each other in a less than deadly melee. As the next volume in the series is looming, let’s take a look at some of the character’s that deserve to make the call sheet.

Mega Man - The brilliantly named sprite of destructive proportion take the premiere spot on the list simply for the hours of vein-busting frustration he has left us in. Each great, side-scrolling epic has not only defined what the classic genre has to give us but continue to be the type of game we look back on fondly. Who wouldn’t love to jump around the tangible environment, shooting Mario and Link with well-packed ion blasts from you hand cannon?

Paperboy – One of the first American games to turn a chore into a video game, Paperboy has unleashed an onslaught of torture and abuse to suburbia over the years. Now the image of him pedaling through Bowser’s castle and leveling Luigi with a single paper seems like a plausible scenario. At least then we might be saved from another tired update of a retro arcade game. Frogger, anyone?

Brian from Quest 64 - Perhaps you blocked this painful memory, but through regressive hypnosis you may be able to conjure up the image of Nintendo 64’s fledgling RPG. For those starved for a quest game, the announcement of Quest 64 brought a little more than joy for N64 owners, only until they dropped almost seventy dollars on a generic retread of tired gaming clichés. Nonetheless, bringing the main child adventurer, Brian, back from gaming perdition would be an even more epic move. Unleashing him with his cane against the likes of Solid Snake and Samus would make for an even battle. If you can choose Jigglypuff, then you should by all means have the right to be a six-year-old in a cape.

Glass Joe – Who was the first guy to level Mike Tyson? That’s right, it’s that regular 8-Bit Badass, Glass Joe. One of the first characters from the arcade version of Nintendo’s Punch-Out, he wrought havoc all through the console versions. Now those who have a good memory may realize that Joe could barely block punches, his hit power equaled that of a well-directed breeze, and a backhand to the jaw would send him into immediate surgery. He’s perfect to take on Ness.

Lemmings - This may not be the first classic Nintendo character that you think of for a supposed fighting game, but just consider the array of power-up possibilities. Could you send the opponents into a trance, forcing them to walk off a cliff? Maybe take a more sadistic approach and blow them all up at once? I think its time to relive one of the most bizarre gaming franchises of all time and use it to kick Pikachu’s ass.

Mii – This development makes perfect sense. With the strange personification that happens with your Mii, you should now be able to import it and play them directly in the game. This would be the next-step in Smash Brothers development; letting Wii users have their own type of character creation mode. At the same time the image of those annoying little clones are, to a degree, authentic Nintendo characters. I think that in this situation it would be more than appropriate to allocate all the tools of Wii Sports as power-ups and special combat moves in the game. Who wouldn’t like to hit Peach in the head with a baseball bat?

Its time to update the SSBB franchise to include more characters from our wasted youth. If “fan favorites” like Ice Climbers, R.O.B., and Mr. Resetti can make an appearance, then any of the rest of these obsolete protagonists have a fighting chance.