Better Living Through Peripherals

There was a time when console makers would release a light gun or an arcade stick, and that would be it. All you really needed to play the video games of yesteryear was a joypad and enough resolve to make it through an army of respawning enemies and spike pits. Of course, with the success of Guitar Hero and the Wii, GameStop and company are now more than willing to stock mountains of plastic instruments, balance boards, and other doodads. Fun stuff at the moment, certainly, but what are GotGame readers to do a year or two from now after the novelty has faded? It’s time to recycle all of that plastic…

In the Kitchen – Frugal gamers short on appliances may be in luck. Take the Wii balance board, for instance. How many of us really kept up with the daily balance routine? At ninety bucks, it’s probably a little too pricey for a bathroom scale. Instead, try using it as a makeshift meat scale. When you’re done weighing your ingredients and baking dinner, dust off your old NES Power Glove. The plastic shell may not be particularly heat-resistant, but it will look more stylish when you’re pulling out a casserole. When you’re ready to serve, pull up the Rock Band drum kit for a compartmentalized dinner tray.

In the Office/Classroom – Bad news, folks. Nobody in the room wants to sit through your PowerPoint slides - time to liven things up with more of your old gaming junk. Load screenshots of your presentation into the Wii Photo Channel, and you’ve suddenly got a built-in pointer. Plus, if the boardroom execs start dozing off, you can show them their Mii counterparts (just make sure that the likenesses are flattering). PS3 owners can haul in their console along with the Eye of Judgment camera and stand for a cheap overhead projector. Oh sure, you could just start a boring chat session, but orcs and battle-mages are so much more dynamic!

During Outdoor Chores – Do you own a Trance Vibrator for the PS2? I’m not sure why you would, but if you’re one of those “elite” few who imported the Rez accessory, and you have a household painting job to take care of, you could use it as a paint shaker. If any paint spills, the obscene oddity even has a washable sleeve! Meanwhile, budding gardeners may want to section off flower plots with old Sega Genesis Activators.

Out on the Town – Short on money? It’s time to put those hours of Guitar Hero to good use. You may not be an authentic street guitarist, but with a guitar controller, an open guitar case, and a little kazoo improvisation, I’m willing to bet you’ll make a little change. (Accompanying musicians take note – the Dreamcast Samba de Amigo maracas function surprisingly well as the real thing). If it’s cold outside, you may consider using an NES Power Pad as a shawl.

We only have so much room in our closets; that peripheral “bubble” is going to burst eventually. But before you junk these gimmicks or turn them in for a pittance at GameStop, just remember that a little ingenuity (and shamelessness) will help you get the extra mile out of your peripherals.