There isn’t enough sulfurous stink in hell to cover up the stench of corporate infiltration in the new theme park “adventure” Six Flags Fun Park. It’s a video game about a theme park. Can I make rollercoasters and ride them? No? Oh.
Instead it’s a collection of minigames…based on a theme park chain…for the Wii. Wait, they don’t have enough of those already? But I suppose you know best, fourth-tier video game developer.
Pop quiz: Name a successful video game company (and their flagship, late-blooming, overcomplicated black monolith of a console) whose leading luminaries can’t seem to pull their ideas together for a unified vision of their company. Pencils down… or rather keys up. Partial credit if you answered “Atari,” but this is Current Events, not Ancient Video Game History. Of course, they say those who don’t know the past are doomed to… something.
If you aren’t one, you probably know one: an MMO junkie; grinding your way to one last level or one more raid before you hit the hay. You’re the hardest of the hardcore, and you’ll let anyone within /shout–ing range know it. But what about your friends (if you still have any) that don’t understand? Those that don’t “get it”? Are they just not as obsessive as you, or have they yet to find their poison? Can the casual and the hardcore come together in one game, or will the twain never meet? To put it simply, where is the Wii of MMOs?
Former Justice Sandra Day O’Connor is furious: kids these days don’t know anything about anything—specifically the government and the courts system. Her solution? Fire up the cronies at her namesake law school in order to right these wrongs in a way least befitting one of the most powerful women in politics today—making a “video game.” Skeptical? Ten-four, we hear you. This video game has the potential to be more boring than Ben Stein when he’s not making fun of himself for being boring.
