That Guy Commits Carnalism, Commitment and Carnage
If you’re not familiar, we have a little running series here at GotGame where a writer selects three people, objects or anything else they can think of, and decides which they’d like to fornicate with (or “fuck” as it is known), which they’d like to marry, and which they’d like to kill. Being the meta-nerd that I am, I decided it would be far too easy to select game characters, developers or anything physical that could be MacGyvered into having a wang port. Instead, I would much rather look at abstract concepts that define our beloved industry, the most notable being this collective conscious creation of cataloging that is video game genres.
This no doubt looks like a basic PS3 hate column tossed together by a mindless “Xbot” (which I admittedly am) but it’s not. This has nothing to do with grief over the system, and everything to do with a public statement by one of the gurus behind the Playstation dynasty.
Whenever a piece of literature is made into a film, some collateral damage is to be expected. Films like Lord of the Rings have proven that too us, and while they usually keep the general plot intact and maybe include some fan service, they almost always fall short of their source material. So obviously the stakes were pretty high for Watchmen seeing as it’s based on what is rightfully considered the greatest graphic novel of all time. And I have to say, Zack Snyder and his crew nailed it.
A wise man (played by Jeff Goldblum) once said, “[They] were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should.” The quote is from the 1993 film Jurassic Park and I think it has an application to today’s video game industry. For years, people have been debating the possibility of putting real time strategy games on consoles. Countless attempts have come and gone, all being considered failures to some degree. The most recent being Halo Wars and the verbal debate on console RTSs is again in full swing.
Ah yes, February 14th. The holiday to commemorate something involving Saint Valentine, the patron saint of lovers. Women use it as an excuse to dress up and go out with their boy toys of choice and guys use it as a socially acceptable time to try and get in the pants of the fairer sex, be it with a significant other or with a lonely barfly too hopped up on anti-depressants and cheap vodka to say no.
Like so many recent graduates attempting to weather our current economic crisis, I recently had to abandon my college-town paradise, complete with coin operated washing machines and hundred year old drywall, to resume residence in the frugal den of shame that is my parent’s home. I mean absolutely no disrespect to my folks, and the rent-free living conditions aren’t too bad with one key exception. They live in a town of approximately nine thousand people, the vast majority of whom are tractor-owning posthumous Reagan supporters. So you can imagine that a hardcore gamer in his early twenties with a degree is somewhat out of place here.
