A Guide to Gamer Fashion

Have you ever felt inappropriately dressed for your respective gaming endeavors? Ever played God of War in a pair of Garfield slippers and thought, “Hey, that’s just not right?” Maybe you’ve even gone a round of Dance Dance Revolution in those one-size-up pants you vowed to only wear on “fat days,” but wore them anyway because they were your only clean pair. Then they ultimately ended up around your ankles by the time you were finished playing—or worse yet, those “skinny jeans” that were way too tight to begin with that made you pass out before you were even done dancing? It’s okay; we’ve all had those moments. I’m here for you.

Being comfortable when you game is an absolute necessity, but what people fail to realize is that mental and physical comfort are equally important. Sure, you can slap on a pair of boxer shorts, turn on your Xbox, and call it a night, but is that really going to get you in the right mood for the adventures that lie before you? Probably not, which is why I have contrived the following guide of “looks” to assist you in “feeling” your games:

The Vorhees: Let’s face it, games like Manhunt can be hella creepy, and I have just the solution to make you a little more at ease during such gameplay. Remember that old adage, “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em?” Well, this look is a perfect example of that. Chances are that “The Vorhees” will make you feel right at home during the scariest of games, all the while frightening off any burglars that might have considered looting your house while you were too busy gaming to notice.

The Full Metal Jacket: What’s the point of a first-person shooter like Call of Duty? To make you feel like you’re actually in the game, of course! Why not take that to the next level by actually looking the part to further your immersion? Actually donning the same garb as your character in the game will help you get into the role, and also help you gain cool points with all of your cosplay-loving friends. On the other hand, it will probably make the rest of your friends back away from the room slowly and never talk to you again—which I suppose isn’t all that bad either, if you were looking for some more “alone time” with your console.

The Fluffy Friend: Games like Nintendogs and Petz were designed to make you feel warm and fuzzy, with all of those big-eyed, furry friends prancing about your screen. Thus, why not feel warm and fuzzy in the most literal of senses whilst playing? Slap on a pair of animal ears, gather up your favorite stuffed animals, and play away. Bonus: after you’re done, you can attend the nearest anime con in the same get-up and be the cat’s meow (ha!).

Felonious Fashionista: When you play a game like Grand Theft Auto, the whole point is to feel like a bad guy, so what better way to get in the mood for mischief than a ski mask? Nothing says “I am SO freaking ready to steal some cars and shoot people” than something worn at a heist. Just make sure to take it off before driving to 7-Eleven to get the mid-game Slurpee, or you’ll probably end up serving some unwarranted jail time.

Anonymous: There are simply too many games to mention where this stylish black bar will likely make you feel better about yourself. Also an alternate look for Petz, if you choose to play it around other people. Warning: may not be enough to shield you from the shame felt after playing Barbie Horse Adventures.

Or…..(drumroll please)

…you can simply be comfortable. Groundbreaking advice, I know–but very wise, if I do say so myself.

Gamers, take heed.