A Gamer’s Black Friday Survival Guide

This week, we face one of the most significant day of the year for the gaming industry. No, not Thanksgiving; the day immediately following: Black Friday. It’s on this day that the holiday shopping rush officially begins! Consumers will line up around local retail stores at the crack of dark to get first chance at some of the sweetest early bird specials. Whether you’re in said line to score some deals yourself or cursed with facing the plundering hordes from behind the counter, are you ready? If not, here are some helpful tips to get you through the day.

Get A Game Plan

The things people will do for a $15 DVD player.

Thanks to the wonders of the internet and breaches in non-disclosure agreements, the advertisements of many major retailers leaked on to the web earlier this month. It is by these fliers that a gamer can map out his or her shopping strategy. Which stores are worth camping out in front of and which ones can wait until later in the afternoon? Will you need to arrange a team effort with your buddies to pick up items at different stores for each other to ensure that you all get the loot you’re after? You may need to prepare a General Patton-style speech to rally your troops.

Shop Online

On the other hand, no one really wants to get up at 4am, just to wait in line in front of a store and then risk their neck in a shopping frenzy (Unless you really dig free coffee.) This is what the internet is for! Many retail sites also offer Black Friday deals, since they’re just as competitive for business as local stores. Plus, many online stores’ regular prices beat the local stores’ sale prices, even after shipping! You’ll be able to get extra sleep, save some gas, avoid fist-fights with soccer moms, and get all of your holiday chores done in an hour.

Get Plenty Of Rest

Another victim of the turkey coma epidemic.

Of course, while some of us are out swimming through the masses of madness, other poor saps will have to work on Friday, dealing with the riots head-on. Whether you’re working or shopping on Black Friday, I offer the same advice to everyone: Get plenty of rest on Thanksgiving. Stuff yourself silly and give in to that tryptophan-induced slumber after (or during) the football game. With proper rest, you’ll have the energy and presence of mind needed to wake up early and perform Olympian feats of consumerism the next morning.

Don’t Lose Your Head

God help you if you’re out on the sales floor this Friday. Be prepared to suffer through dumb questions, short tempers, and little to no support from store operations. The best way to survive with your sanity intact is to approach it with a zen-like attitude. Accept that these things are just going to happen, most of what you experience will be out of your control, and remember that before you know it, it will all be over and done. Bruce Lee once said, “Be water, my friend.” Don’t confront your troubles, trying to resist them; flow through or around them so that they may pass without chipping away at you.

Offer Accessories

Rule of thumb: EVERYTHING needs batteries or cables.

Finding your spiritual center may soften your encounters with customers, but you still have store management looming over you. Crap flows downhill and if they’re having a bad day, they’ll make sure that you have a bad day, too. Luckily, they have a weak spot! No matter what department of what store you’re working in, always remember to offer accessories to the sale. Nothing gives a sales manager a boner faster than add-on sales. If they notice that you’re boosting their numbers, your bosses will be more likely to not just leave you alone, but also applaud you for your efforts.

The best technique is to just tell the customer, “Well, if you’re going to buy that, then you’ll also need this.” If they dismiss you, just drop it. But most likely, they’ll take your word for it, which you just boosted your sale an extra $10-15.

Call In Sick On Saturday

With the worst of it behind you, it’s time to recuperate from the battlefield. It may not be the most honest thing, but I suggest calling in sick for the weekend after Black Friday. You’ve earned it! You may not earn too many brownie points with your boss, since it’s still one of the busiest weekends of the season, but you’ve already proven that you were reliable enough to make it on the day that matters the most. While it’s not impossible, it’s very unlikely that they’ll fire you any time soon, so long as demand for help remains high and there’s a revolving door of employee turnover. Just remember to show up on Monday!

Rest up, soldier... You've earned it.